I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
