I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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