I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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