I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
