You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Randomize
