So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
