Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
