I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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