I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
