Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Randomize
