why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Randomize
