Me. At least after what I've been through.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
