i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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