I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
