I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
