I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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