I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
i out mim tonsoeep
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