Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
