I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
