Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
