I am puke
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
where does the pee come out of this thing
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Randomize
