peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
