just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
