you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
