I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
