It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I think i got beer on your cat.
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