I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
