U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
i think im in europe. pls send help
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
