I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
