and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
