he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize
