So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
