she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Man, jail baloney is awful.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize
