just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
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