I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
