i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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