FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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