So drunk, too bad you don't want this
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
