Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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