Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize