Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
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