Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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