One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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