we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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