He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
