i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
