He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
