I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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