oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
