thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
