your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize
