Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
The uberlube is also flammable
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
