I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
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