so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
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