I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
im holly from the hills drunk
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
