two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
