I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize