Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Randomize
