who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
