Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
