Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
