You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Randomize
