Old men and throwing up are my life now.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
