I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
