Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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