he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
