do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize
