the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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